Don't worry...about a thing: Reflections...

I could tell by Blake's face as soon as I saw him from the car window that something was wrong. He was wearing the expression he does when he's about to fall apart. Sure enough, he climbed in the car and burst into tears. Through the sobs, he explained that he had received a yellow card in the afternoon for talking when the teacher was talking. He has had a perfect streak of green since school started and to get a yellow card was devastating to him. (The card system is green for great choices, yellow for good choices, blue for poor choices, red for bad choices.)

We have a surprise family trip planned in a few weeks as an encouragement for doing well in school (DISNEYLAND!!! Shhhh....don't tell him) Blake thought that because he'd received a yellow that we would cancel the trip. I hugged him and explained that we don't expect him to be perfect! We just expect him to try his hardest and do the best he can. We understand that he'll make mistakes and it's okay as long as he tries harder not to make the same mistakes over again. I reiterated how very much we love him and how proud we are of him for doing so well and trying his best every day. I also reminded him that tomorrow he'd start with green again and he'd have a fresh start in the morning. He seemed to relax a little and felt better about the situation. It made me realize how hard children can be on themselves and that sometimes we really do need to go a easy on them.

Seeing my child cry like that made me want to just hold him and cry right along with him. Sometimes he says he doesn't want to go to school anymore, and honestly, when things like this happen, a part of me thinks I don't want him to go....I don't want him to have to suffer ANY heartache. And yet, I KNOW he needs to go. He needs to learn and grow from his experiences. Even though there are little heartaches, the benefits far outweigh the negatives.

I've been working with Blake on a solo he has in the Primary Program and I've been encouraging him to sing without touching the mic. He has a great voice but I worry that when the day of the program arrives, he'll grab the mic, put his lips on it and sing obnoxiously. I thought maybe if I bought a reward and told him about it, he'd have good motivation to perform just as we have practiced. I found an awesome Optimus Prime Transformer Halloween costume that I know he'll love. When he came home, I explained that I had a surprise for him if he does a good job in the program in a couple weeks. He immediately started to tear up and said, "I just can't take all these surprises! Please, just tell me what it is. I'll still work hard for it, I just want to know!" It was so sweet and sincere that I told him what the surprise is, but I won't show it to him until he does a good job. If he doesn't do a good job, I'll take the costume back and he can wear one of the other costumes we have in the costume box. He was so excited about it and is happy to be working toward his new costume.

As I reflect upon these situations, I realize how similar our Heavenly Father must feel toward us. His heart breaks when ours do. He wants to cry when we cry. He offers encouragement and love to help us keep going. He knows that even though this life is hard... it is a place to be tested and it is for our ultimate benefit. The love He has for us is all encompassing. He doesn't expect us to be perfect and understands we'll make mistakes. He provided a way for us to repent and be washed clean and start fresh again.

Lately we've been faced with more question marks. The home that we are renting month to month is in the process of being sold and we have to move out in a matter of weeks. We don't know where we are going to move. We'd like to continue renting month to month in case a great opportunity arises, but that is difficult to find because most people want a year lease. It has been such a stressful time! We want to make the right decision for our family and the idea of moving again sounds SO overwhelming! The other day when we were headed out as a family, I commented about the stress of the situation and the anxiety I was feeling. Warren thumbed his ipod while he listened. Music started playing and he said, "This is for you, Sweetie." Bob Marley started singing, "Don't worry...about a thing. Every little thing, is gonna be all right."

I can relate to how Blake feels with so many surprises. I feel like I've had so many floating question marks above my head for so long that I just want to cry to Heavenly Father, "I just can't take all these surprises! Please, just tell me what it is. I'll still work hard for it, I just want to know!" There is something about KNOWING that makes the situation easier. I guess that's why we have to rely on our faith so much. I am confident that Heavenly Father has a handful of surprises for us and we just have to be patient and long suffering in order to receive them. Right now, I need to focus on being grateful and letting my mind replay Bob Marley's words over and over in my mind....

Don't worry....about a thing. Every little thing, is gonna be all right.